“I know you have to get out of your house, so you are invited some place and you go and as soon as you walk in the door, oh my God. It’s death. It’s death.

I can’t believe it, oh I am talking to this person. How am I gonna get out of this conversation! What am I going to say to get away! Your mind is racing as if you are gonna go to jail if you don’t come up with something. And you know you grasp at straws – ‘ Ohh I gotta get a drink, or aah I gotta go to the bathroom.’ You look at friends – ‘Help.’ It is a nightmare. It truly is. I cannot do this. It is so exhausting.” – Larry David

There are hundreds of articles on ‘How to be social’ or ‘How to be more likable’. But you see, some people can be a nuisance and you have to learn how to avoid them. Hence, the need for antisocial behavior.

Anti social is an adjective.  In popular culture, it is used to describe people who are shy and introverted. Either you don’t like talking to people more than necessary or socialization isn’t your forte which again translates to wanting to avoid talking to people because you are not good at it. Anti social behavior could be circumstantial too.

There’s a clinical definition for antisocial too, but we aren’t talking about anything that severe.

‘I have always been interested in people but I have never liked them.’ – Henry James

Sheldon Cooper was a little boy who lived in Texas with his family. He didn’t like socialising at all. A nine year old studying in high school, Sheldon  would rather play with his toys and read his books. Sheldon had one friend and he was absolutely fine with it.

We have prepared a list of expert techniques you could use to level up your antisocial game. In fact, you may need it more if you are a social butterfly who just cannot stop making friends.

Dress Like Your Surroundings

Suppose you have to attend some party because your parents dragged you to it. Color coordinate with the walls. This way people will not notice you. Bonus points if you have visited the place before. Are the walls pink? Dress in pink. Camouflage yourself. Nobody can bother you if they don’t see you.

Be creative. The more chameleon-like your outfit is, the better.

Pretend Not to Hear

The secret to mastering this skill is not to make eye contact. Look anywhere except at the person who looks like a potential threat. To master this skill, you need persistence. How many times will the person call you? 3 times? 5 times? You have to block them all. Also, appear to be in deep thought. If they are so keen that they approach you after repeated rejections, you can always say I was wondering about ‘something vague or opaque’. “Didn’t hear you, man (uncle/aunt).”

Do not Initiate Conversation

If you don’t intend to carry on a conversation all night, why start it? It will be tempting. You might think a simple ‘hi’ would do no harm but sweet summer child, it will. That’s how long social interactions start. With a simple ‘Hi’. Be warned. Just nod and smile when you are introduced. 

Shake hands if you are feeling too friendly for your own good. Politeness will get you nowhere. Nice people can’t be very antisocial.

Put on Earphones

If you put on earphones when people try to talk to you, you do not respond. The person bothering you will feel like he’s talking to a wall. If he’s so intent on talking to you, he will raise his voice. Mind you, be resolute. Don’t look up. The shouting will gather a lot of attention and the person bothering you will feel embarrassed. The person may poke you or push you to bring you to your senses.

This method of putting on earphones has the risk of you getting labelled as a ‘beyadob’ also known as ‘shameless’ by your relatives but that should not really bother you.

There’s no clubs for anti socials people because as the name suggests they are against socialization. If you apply these techniques and actually achieve success in your journey as an antisocial, it is not on you, it is all the writer’s credit. However, this post is in no way responsible for any hindrances that you may face in your personal and work life after applying the ways just mentioned.

This is in no way a comprehensive list. If you have tactics of your own that do wonders for increasing your anti-social game, feel free to let us know in the comments.