Let’s make some clear distinctions to start things off.
Nudes: By nudes we mean any and all form of intimate photos, regardless of how much skin revealed, that have been shown/leaked/exposed to someone else without the consent of the person in the photo.
Assaulter: The assaulters are the people that are linked in any way in the process of the nonconsensual spreading of the photo. This means that the list is not limited to who sends out the nudes only. Anyone that is a part of the sharing groups or anyone that privately spreads the photos to someone else without the knowledge of the person in the photos, the victim; are all assaulters, hence criminals. The list is irrespective of sexual identity and orientation, ethnicity and cultural background, age and occupation and literacy.
Victim: The victim here is the person that had photos of themselves exposed to people that they did not consent to showing, regardless of whether or not this person showed any other photos to the person or to anyone else, or even made anything public.
While we all understand the problems of sharing someone’s nudes without their consent, we rarely try to analyze the psyche of people who are responsible for the act. Understanding how a criminal thinks is the first step to solving a crime.
Why do people leak nudes?
Four kinds of people leak nudes, an angry ex, a stalker, a hacker or a thief. Usually the ex-boyfriend, out of hatred at the girl for breaking up, leaks the photos to his friends that later end up in the hands of unsuspecting people. Such actions arise from a place of hate for either the girl not being in love anymore, or for her having the audacity to reject a guy. Hence this act has been termed revenge porn.
Revenge pornography is illegal and punishable by jailtime in multiple countries, including Bangladesh. It is important to teach people their rights and also to make sure they do not stay silent or in fear.
At times, the victim never speaks up because she is too afraid. The boy who leaked the nudes automatically has more social capital for being a boy. And the boy is aware of this unfair power disparity, which is why he thinks that he would get away with everything, even if he were ever accused. His only intention is ruining her life.
We feed into such harmful mentalities by accusing the wrong party. Even if we do not support anything like this, by remaining silent, we do our share in harming one more girl’s dignity every day. There are nude-sharing groups on social media, and we know which of our friends are involved in the business. But we never speak up in fear of what our peers/friend-circle would think.
Stalkers usually remain in wait and make notes of the daily routines of their victims. They take their time. They are obsessive creeps. They sneak around and take photos when the victim expects to remain private.
Hackers are smart with tools. They get the photos directly from the devices of the victims. These people are the hardest to catch because they are never physically present in the place of the crime. They mostly hide their digital footprints, so the police have a hard time tracking them down. And while they are at it, the hacker gets enough time to sell/distribute the nudes to the supplier. Much to our favor, hacking requires wit, hackers are few in number.
Have you ever got mugged and then got worried because your cellphone contained sensitive stuff? This is very common. Sometimes muggers check memory before selling off their loot, so by the time the police can get back your phone, your photos will have already been out.
People spread nudes because it gives them a sense of validation.
Creeps come back to such people because they are constantly in search for such harmful content. Therefore, criminals open large Facebook groups or Dropbox links meant solely for the purpose of nudes-exchange. These groups have thousands of subscribers. This gives the supplier incentive to keep hunting for more of these without consent. Friends share the stuff between themselves. This is how the entire network operates.
A certain female friend of mine once got someone’s nudes from her boyfriend in a nude-sharing Messenger group and actively spread them on to her friends. This says a lot about our culture; it shows that even girls are willing to harm the dignity, privacy and honor of other girls for the sake of petty things like attention or vengeance.
Keep in mind that this entire system is illegal, and if caught with evidence of the act, you are sure to get jail time. Anyone caught with being under possession of nudes without the knowledge of the owner, or caught under the act of sharing said nudes are all equally guilty, and sexual harassment sticks both in court and in society.
It is going to be difficult to stop a derogatory culture that has become normalized.
People chat about leaked nudes and the victims at tea-breaks. Change starts with you. Do not remain silent if you know someone is being violated. Name and shame the people involved in the business. If you do not have the power to do anything, at least do not support it by helping the assaulter. If you aren’t part of the solution, then at least don’t be a part of the problem.
