This year has been a rollercoaster for Bangladesh cricket. After a below par display in the 2024 T20 World Cup, the team gave some hope to fans after their recent series win against West Bangladesh. Despite this great feat, our senior most cricketer still hasn’t been able to return to the groove he once possessed during the last decade. We decided to sit with Shaky, but his manager informs us that he is not in the country at the moment.
The team has been practising together for the upcoming India test series. Why are you not at home with them?
Shaky: As you can see, my performance hasn’t been the best in recent years. Even in the nets, I tend to struggle against my very own teammates. It is utterly embarrassing as a senior cricketer to not be able to defend the ball, let alone hit it. They might even start calling me Kanababa if this continues.
Our squad is now filled with fearless young pacers. Gone are the days when I could easily face Shunno Sarkar and Bashrafe bhai. Hence, I have decided to play at Surrey as my practice for this series. If I mess up, I’ll just blame the conditions. Besides, no one wants me to inaugurate showrooms in Bangladesh anymore. County cricket will allow me to expand my services to England.
Your batting and bowling performances have taken a drastic fall. Why is it that since 2019, we haven’t seen the prime Shaky?
Shaky: I’m sick and tired of this question every time. Tell me, if I took off your glasses and told you to face a fast bowler, would you be able to do it? At least I was one of the best performers in the 2019 ODI World Cup, Apni desh er jonno ki korechen?
Your all rounder rankings have also dropped over the last couple of years. Do you think you can regain the number 1 spot?
Shaky: Well, I believe I am still the number 1 all rounder in the world, despite what the rankings suggest. What these wannabes excel at are only batting and bowling. I, on the other hand, were a member of the parliament, a restaurant owner, a brand ambassador, a showroom inaugurator, a businessman etc. Now that I have lost all of these side hustles, I can now solely focus on cricket and regain my number 1 allrounder spot (of Bangladesh).
What was that?
Shaky: (Of Bangladesh)
It’s a verbal interview. You can’t speak in subtext.
Shaky: Next question!
There have been numerous disciplinary issues under your name. Recently, you threw a ball at Rizwan at a test match when he was not ready to face the ball. Why did you do that?
Shaky: During my breaks, I spend time with my family in the US. I have grown fond of a popular sport over there called baseball. My kids love to play it with me. In that test match, I completely forgot that I was playing cricket. I thought Liton Das was the catcher and I’m the pitcher. So, I threw the ball at him with all my force. I was silly to expect Pakistanis to be able to play baseball when they can’t even play cricket in their own backyard.
What is your response to the murder charge under your name?
Shaky: I was not even in the country at the time of the murder, not that I have been in the country anyway for a long period of time. Yes, I have shown signs of rage and aggression. I have kicked stumps, slapped fans, threw phones at their faces. But murder is where I draw the line. The only thing that I have killed are the hopes of Bangladeshi fans.
You’ve been repeatedly seen promoting gambling and betting sites. Many of your fans are not fond of such promotions. Do you wish to continue such endorsements?
Shaky: I don’t see anything wrong with it. I understand Bangladesh considers gambling illegal. But are the people any less experienced in it? Our fans spend so much time watching us, put all their hope in us, only for us to play horrendously and lose against teams such as the US; which by the way I have a green card for. So if you think about it, it’s basically my home country. So I see that as a complete win.
Anyways, that is the essence of betting. No matter how much you put in, you end up getting nothing in return. If they are betting on us, they might as well bet on these sites so that I can become richer.
There have been rumours and pictures circulating on social media regarding your affair with Kafisa Namal. Do you want to clear out the air?
: I think that this accusation is completely baseless. Haven’t you seen the post I wro-I mean… my wife wrote? It’s clear that there is nothing going on between me and Kafisa. It is true that we were spotted in a hotel, but let me assure you, all we were doing was discussing how I could be a part of the Victorians and win a BPL trophy. It has been a while since I last won one, and seeing Bihari Iqbal win last time was just rubbing salt on the wound.
