Muhammad Ali once said, “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned friendship, you really haven’t learned anything”.
What makes friendship so valuable? In fact, what really is friendship?
According to Wikipedia, friendship is a mutual affection between two or more people that bonds them strongly in a relationship. Humans, being the social beings, tend to form bonds when they come across other people, even though they never had any relations with them. Sometimes, to just have someone to share the desk with, sometimes only to hangout and other times to share all the words that would otherwise be trapped in people’s hearts, humans make friends.
Friends are like support systems present every time you leave home to face the world. The early bases of friendships start in childhood, when it is always so easy to make friends with new people. The early foundation of friendship is laid in schools and this supports people in their entire lives. These people share your interests and values, and play a major role in validating and reinforces your identities, hence confidence. It is always easier to share a lot with them than it is with your family members. Positive interactions with people greatly improve the mental health of people which eventually leads to a healthier life. Without these people around many tend to suffer from loneliness, depression which can greatly affect the health of any individual. Therefore, with friends, happiness multiplies and troubles to some extent become easier, as these people of your age share them with you.
If friendship is so important, why does it change?
Even though, there are endless perks of friendship, at some points of our lives, we find ourselves losing touch with them. One of the major reasons seems to be the age factor which adds more and more responsibilities to our shoulders.
As people age, one thing that follows is personal growth. As one learns more about life, the priorities in life becomes clearer.
People understands who are better for them and who aren’t. with new life choices and decisions, it is quite obvious that people would change their surroundings and move to new environment. So new works, new responsibilities, less time. If you are currently in universities, the pressure life is giving you perhaps only is increasing day by day. With all the new things you have to cope with, your closest friends might be a big relief.
In twenties, life changes dramatically. Suddenly you just chose your major and within a few years you have to decide what to do next. The new job experience, early adulthood might be overwhelming but comes with perks. You are getting closer to your family members, with more words to say and more room of understanding. Some people around you are even getting married and settled while you might still find yourself struggling. Your friends are of course a relief, right now. Your old friends are there to catch up in the social media or the Messenger or WhatsApp groups and with the few hangouts you get when you all are in town.
Otherwise, your new friends are doing well too. They are much different than your old friends; they teach you many new perspectives of life.
By the time people reach their 30s, some more massive changes take place. Some might have already settled down and others are on their way of settling down. Life seems much more stable than before. Somehow by this time you feel more grounded. Families and work take up the hierarchy over friendships. Although you might feel like hanging out with your old friends, they might all be in different regions of the world unless you are very lucky. The need for friends isn’t that much in your life.
Perhaps, you are more grounded. You found your soulmates, work friends who seem to be an integral part of the lives. However, even they might disappear as you change your job or environment. And it seems perfectly normal. You learn to be happy with your family and work. Whenever you feel like sharing things with your old friends, you need to turn to the old virtual groups. Even though you all think you are mature, somehow some external factors start affecting your lives. Your job, social status everything affects the people you hang out with. Remember the thing about self-growth? You are much more conscious about the people who are around you. After all, no one wants bad impacts or toxic people in their lives anymore.
No matter how much we want to keep up with the people we love, distance always takes over at some point. Remember the person you had to talk to every day. Do you still have to do that? With time things become so much easier. From every day to once a week to once a month and this ends up to only a few times in a year or several years. As it is said that people become more comfortable in their own skin as they grow, likewise as people grow, they become okay with being in smaller groups or sharing less with others. The people anyone usually hangouts with might lessen with time but these people certainly are the most important.
The ones that will last through the tough times last for almost a lifetime.
Remember well: “Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”- Eleanor Roosevelt.