In an ideal world, you should be able to explore your sexuality in a way that doesn’t invite the dangerous possibilities of a leak. However, that’s clearly not the case. In 2016, 1 in 25 Americans were threatened with nudes or “revenge porn”. The number may be far worse for Bangladesh.
If you had your intimate photos leaked and had your dignity and your existence questioned and hated, and if you have ever looked at someone and wondered whether or not they have seen you naked, you are not alone. Most people shut themselves in and internalize this feeling of disgust, which is why it is hard to know who else are going through similar hardships. This further leads people to question their judgement and hate themselves. What is most important in such cases is realizing that none of this is your fault.
Anxiety
You could feel worried about people seeing you some way you never expected them to, and that is fine. You could choose to shut yourself in and cry, and that is also fine. Here’s something that’s not. It’s not okay to end up doing something impulsive or regrettable. Pay careful attention to what your mind tells you, because your mind is on steroids right now. It is not okay to harm yourself.
Hate
You are probably wondering how you ended up sharing your intimate photos in the first place. You probably hate yourself for your judgement. It is important to know that this is not your fault. Whoever breaches trust is the one to blame: in this case, the one that leaked the photos. Do not beat yourself up, and most importantly, do not end up doing something that you may regret later.
The compulsive need to harm yourself
Self-harm is very directly related to self-hate. For some people, physical pain is a means to get relief from mental pain. Psychologists say that people harm themselves while in pain because thinking about and crying over bruises help overlook whatever was the cause of trauma. However, the damage that you inflict upon yourself is permanent. Nothing gets solved by shoving a knife up your arm. Furthermore, trauma, if paid attention to, can be dealt with. But external damage will harm your body forever.
And DO NOT even think about killing yourself.
The need to isolate yourself
You probably feel disgusted at yourself right now. You also constantly wonder which of your acquaintances have seen you. You feel a variety of negative thoughts, and you cannot even tell how you feel. You do not want to talk to anyone. You start rejecting invitations to social gatherings.
It is okay to not want to talk to anyone, but isolation at times of distress is the worst thing you could do to yourself. Isolation gives you too much space, and therefore the negative thoughts start accumulating. This will never help you mentally. At times like this, you need someone to talk to. You probably should not trust all your friends with sensitive things such as this, but you still need that one friend, or the friend circle.
The need to talk to everyone
For some people, venting is their chosen coping mechanism. Needless to say, having your intimate photos leaked is a different kind of problem. Talking could help, but it is always good knowing who to trust. Leaking too much information to someone you know little of could only add fuel to the fire.
I will discuss the to-dos for dealing with such situations in a later article. As for the basics, it is important to note that you are not alone. There are people willing to help. Try reaching out to friends and family. If you think you cannot trust them, there are institutions dedicated to supporting victims mentally. Contact Oroddho Foundation on Facebook. Call the authorities and file a case. Dial 999 at any possible inconvenience. Contact the website that hosted your photos. It is okay to be upset, but inaction will not solve anything. Channel your disgust, let it empower you. The remaining days of your life should not be about rejecting what has happened; it should be about you making sure nobody has to go through the same fate as you, as well as accepting what has happened to you and moving on.