Sure, being a girl has its perks; however, nowadays, many women think of it as a curse. Why, may you ask? Here are some examples: since childhood, we girls are told to behave ‘like a lady’- don’t laugh too loud, don’t eat too fast, don’t talk too much, keep our opinions to ourselves, and dress up in a certain way. We probably accept it in the beginning, but as time moves forward, so must society.
Recently in Bangladesh, a young adult woman, along with her two friends, was harassed by a female misogynist while waiting for her train at the railway station. Reportedly, this incident happened because the middle aged woman was triggered by the young woman’s modern clothes. The assault got so intense that the victims had to be taken to the station master’s office for safety.
After the news of this public attack went viral on social media, a mass uproar was seen from the youth all over. Eventually, other parties got involved in the incident and RAB, despite taking quite some time, was able to locate the accused woman and take her into custody. Paradoxically when the news of her arrest surfaced online, many people further commented that the young woman was, in fact, the one at fault and that she should have adequately dressed, some people going as far as praising the attacker “for teaching her a much-needed lesson”. Unsurprisingly, neither was the accused seen to feel guilty about her actions.
Recently, the High Court ruled in favor of the accused, and students from University of Dhaka and North South University staged protests in their campuses showing support for the High Court’s decision. Is this truly what the majority of the population wants and advocates for?
For every person, clothes are a way to express their personality and their feelings. People like dressing up a certain way because they feel confident and comfortable. But in Bangladesh or any Muslim country, women face enormous pressure to dress appropriately. The people around us prefer women to wear salwar kameez instead of jeans and a shirt. I, a woman in her early twenties, am not allowed to wear anything low cut, shorter than the knee, or skin-revealing. Even though my parents are fine with me wearing the clothes I love, I know if I go out in those, I’ll get glares from old folks and comments like-
“She’ll get raped.”
“She’s going to be a failure in her life.”
This leads us to the sad epiphany that the mentality of our older generation is still the same. To them, women are objects who should not carry a mind and a voice of their own. Even in 2022, conservative society continues to try to inject us with their misplaced sense of false moral policing. In the name of forcing modesty culture, it took away our right to freedom of self-expression.
Whenever an incident like this happens, it is not mentally traumatizing for the victim but also affects all other girls.
About 84% of women in Bangladesh are constantly being sexually harassed on the road, in vehicles, in educational institutions, at work, or even at home.
In Bangladesh, being harassed by a man is not new; however, it also the quality of life for women down to a new low. As a woman who travels alone most of the time, I can confidently that this incident serves as a blockage of movement for every girl, not just the one victim who had to miss her train in self-defense.
Thousands of us will miss our trains because we are terrified of being assaulted at public transport stations.
Whereas girls used to think twice before going out, now, they will think thrice. What if someone gets offended by our choice of clothes?
Sexual assault is never the fault of the victim. Sexual assault is a violent attack on a person rather than a spontaneous act of sexual desire. It is a humiliating and demeaning act for the victim.
No one “deserves” or “asks” for such an assault. Sexual harassment and assault should never be justified based on perceived ‘immodesty.’ No one has the right to touch you without your permission because of your attire. Every assailant is responsible for their acts and must be held entirely accountable when their actions go beyond what is appropriate or lawful.
I am tired of pacifying a society that makes decisions about women’s bodies based on gender-biased power structures. if you’re confused, you’re not paying attention. Ask for consent: clothes are not consenting, and being flirty is not consent. It’s not that hard. Funny how society says “Don’t judge a book by its cover, then turns around and judge a woman by her cover.”