Let’s take a look back at something that happened a few months ago.
The occurrence might have been trivial, but it gave me perspective. One of my faculties (who just happens to be an introvert) assumed it would be nice to essentially provide a talk about introverts to an audience that would be interested to listen, regardless of the kind of personality trait they possess.
Thus, a poster was made and circulated around the parts of the social media that would have produced attention and output. During the day of the talk, while a friend of mine and I were packing our bags to head towards the talk, the friend asked an acquaintance of ours to join us. In response, the acquaintance said that he isn’t an introvert so he won’t be attending the talk even though he had nothing better to do. I would also like to mention that the friend is not an introvert as well.
In hindsight, had there been a talk about how to make friends or how to be successful, then would the acquaintance have bothered to participate? I genuinely wonder. It however does go to show that there are people who are curious about introverts and there are people who are not. I’m not insinuating that everyone should be inquisitive about introverts. I simply intend to point out that people who are ignorant about introverts make assumptions by labeling introverts as introverts during the times when introverts feel disadvantaged. Then again, the factor of introverts feeling disadvantaged is universal and undeniable.
To begin with, calling out introverts by implying they do not talk much is equivalent to stating that plants need to be watered.
Honest to God, if I had penny for all the times people called me out on it, I would have been fairly rich by now. Having to listen to “she doesn’t talk much” is daunting and appalling. It gives me yet another reason to not try and interact with the person saying it. Introverts talk, they have deep conversations and they are some of the best listeners out there.
It is however true that they avoid small talks, like most people they do not think it necessary to stock up moments of silence with irrelevant talks simply because the society, or more aptly, people demand it. Introverts may feel disadvantaged at such times because small talk is what is expected from them, but from one introvert to another, never feel obligated to do something the society deems appropriate.
Public speaking is something that might agitate even the boldest of people. It is therefore only natural for an introvert to be petrified of it.
If I were to speak for myself then fascinatingly enough, I do not mind speaking publicly as long as I get to rage on about things or projects that are dear to me hence, I make sure to base my assignments on topics that matter to me.
This introvert I know is a majestic singer but she is most confident singing when she films her song and uploads it on Facebook as opposed to actually facing a bunch of people when singing. Introverts tend to shine during small group gatherings amongst people that are important to them. The age of social media is advantageous for introverts in general because they get to put themselves out there in their own terms.
If you are close with an introvert regardless of the kind of relationship you share then you might have felt the urge to speak on behalf of the introvert. In the future if you feel the need to do so then do the introvert a favor and never speak up on behalf of them.
Introverts tend to be decisive mostly because they are thoughtful, they therefore have a clear vision about what they should say and what they should not. They are adept at filtering people and situations according to their needs although they may not choose to always share their thoughts and decisions. I mean why should they? What is the point?
The inherent difference between introverts and extroverts is biological as well. Scientific researches have proven that the nervous system does in fact have a hand in sculpting personalities. Introverts are people that are already over stimulated and they require less dopamine to feel good or validated unlike extroverts. Extroverts have a tendency to persistently look for external factors of validation to internally feel the influx of stimulation.
Introverts do not feel helpless, not really. They are deemed as such by the ever-prevalent constructions that try to dictate the normalization of any society.
For instance, people do not have to talk when they when they are sharing a ride or even an elevator, it is perfectly normal to not talk but more often than not people call the silence awkward. If introverts are disadvantaged then it is only because of the rowdiness the world has to offer.