Ramadan is upon us, and with it comes the first-day iftar—a meal so elaborate it feels more like preparing for a banquet than simply breaking a fast. As you sit down at the table, you quickly realize that each item has its own distinct archetype. Some are the life of the party, others are there purely out of tradition, and a few are tolerated simply because that’s how it’s always been. Let’s dive into this chaotic, calorie-packed family reunion, where the food has more drama than your relatives.
The Self-Important Patriarch: The Plate of Dates
Ah, the plate of dates—the grand elder of the iftar table items. No matter what else is present, the dates always arrive first, and everyone knows they must be respected. They don’t need to do much besides sit in their golden-brown glory, silently judging the spread. You can’t start iftar without them; it’s practically a sin. Dates need not be flashy or loaded with nuts or cream cheese like some other items (cough, stuffed dates); they simply sit there, smug in their simplicity. And if you forget about them, rest assured, they’ll remind you with a guilt trip worthy of a Sunnah sermon.
The Attention-Seeking Drama Queen: Beguni
Beguni is the drama queen of the iftar items. She struts in all golden and crispy, ready to steal the spotlight, her appearance promising a bite of crispy heaven. But let’s be real—one bite and you’re met with a greasy, oily mess. She ruins your plate, stains your fingers, and leaves behind a trail of oily footprints that proclaim, “I am the drama, and I won’t let you forget it.” Beguni lives for attention, demanding praise even when the experience is less than stellar. It’s like that one relative who is always late to the party, yet when they arrive, the world stops to admire their flawless timing.
The “Look, I’m Healthier Than You” Cousin: The Cucumber
The cucumber is always convinced it has figured out the secret to life. It appears on the iftar items table with a fresh, crisp demeanor—looking healthy and cool, probably even sporting a “low-calorie” or “antioxidant-packed” label. It’s the cousin who was first to jump on the health bandwagon, doling out unsolicited advice on eating clean and avoiding sugar. Although it might sit quietly on the table, it is definitely judging you for diving into the greasy samosas. Don’t get me wrong—the cucumber is refreshing, but it seems to be there solely to remind you that you could be eating better. It’s the passive-aggressive wellness coach you never asked for.
The Newcomer Who’s Trying Too Hard: The Lacchi
Lacchi is like the overzealous intern who desperately wants to fit in. It’s sweet, fun, and added to the iftar items menu to mix things up. But here’s the thing: nobody asked for lacchi. It comes with all the sprinkles and fluff, overcompensating for the fact that it doesn’t really do much. Lacchi tries so hard to be the life of the party, yet the moment you try it, you realize it’s nothing more than sugary strings that leave your mouth feeling sticky. It’s like that one person who tries too hard to be the center of attention—you just wish they’d chill out.
The Overhyped Social Media Star: The Jilapi
Jilapi is the influencer cousin who’s constantly posting selfies with filters, trying to look effortlessly perfect. Sure, it’s shiny, golden, and its syrupy sweetness is irresistible at first. But once you indulge, you realize you’ve fallen into a vicious cycle—one plate is never enough. It’s as if jilapi has some magical hold over you, leading you down a path of regret. You swear you won’t go near it again, yet tomorrow it reappears, looking even more tempting than before. It’s like that ex who promises they’ve changed but keeps dragging you back into the same toxic cycle of sugar overload.
The Classic, Always Reliable: Piyaju
Piyaju is the relative who has been around for years and never grows old. It doesn’t matter if there are new, fancy dishes on the table—Piyaju is always there as a comforting presence. Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, it is the workhorse of the iftar table items. It may not steal the show, but it is dependable. When you need something to fill the gap, Piyaju is ready to deliver its A-game—just like that dependable cousin who doesn’t need to say much but always comes through when it counts.
The Sweet, Yet Dangerous: The Boondi
Boondi is that quiet character who might not catch your eye immediately but slowly creeps up on you with a handful of sugary sweetness. At first, it’s delightful and just a tiny bit fun, but soon enough you find yourself drowning in a pool of sugar, wondering how you got there. It’s like that friend who invites you out for coffee and before you know it, you’ve spent hours indulging in desserts you never intended to try. One handful of boondi is never enough, and before you know it, you’ve polished off an entire bowl—even when you’re full, you still crave more.
The Party Pooper: The Khorbuja Shorbot
The Khorbuja shorbot is like the bad character everyone secretly dreads but no one dares to mention. It’s that one relative whom only the parents like, while the rest of the family pretends to enjoy it out of politeness. Made from rockmelon—an innocent fruit on its own—the sherbet form is a strange, unnecessary concoction that nobody really asked for. Its oddly strong flavor doesn’t sit well with most people, yet it lingers in the background. Parents love it, and that’s all that matters.
The “What Do I Even Do Here?”: The Muri
Muri is like that guest at a family gathering who is there simply because no one had the heart to tell them they weren’t needed. You can’t quite figure out why it’s even on the table. Sure, it’s crunchy, but it doesn’t seem to fit in with the savory or sweet dishes. You eat a handful to be polite, yet you’re left wondering what exactly it adds to the spread. It’s always present, quietly waiting for someone to acknowledge it, fully aware that it’s merely filling space—nothing more, nothing less.
The Traditional Old Soul: Alu & Dal Puri
Alu and Dal Puri are the wise old relatives who have been around for generations. While the rest of the family tries to mix things up, this dish remains unchanged. It’s simple, humble, and steadfast. The golden puris, stuffed with a spicy potato filling, pair perfectly with the warm dal puri. Although they might not have the Instagram-worthy appeal of newer dishes, they are reliable—like that cousin who never changes their hairstyle yet always gets the job done. They are comfortable, familiar, and you find yourself returning to them time and again.
The Old Faithful: The Glass of Water
Water doesn’t get the respect it deserves. It quietly waits in the background, ready to offer support when all else fails. After all the spicy, sweet, and greasy iftar items, it is water that saves the day. It doesn’t demand attention or acknowledgement—it simply exists, waiting for the moment you realize it is the most essential part of the iftar table. When you’re gasping for relief, water is there, soothing your parched throat, calming your overwhelmed stomach, and reminding you that you’ve been neglecting it all evening. Water is the true MVP of iftar, and no one notices its worth until it’s too late.
The Trendy Twist: The Roohafza
Roohafza is the cool cousin who always shows up with the latest trends. Sweet, refreshing, and super Instagrammable, it is the drink everyone reaches for—and for good reason. It’s bright, colorful, and delicious. But let’s be honest: it’s also a bit overhyped. Once the glass is empty, you realize it’s just sugar syrup with a splash of rosewater. Still, it’s the first day of Ramadan, and Roohafza always delivers. You might not need it, but you sure do want it. It’s a tradition, and traditions are hard to break.
The Not-So-Fancy Filler: Nimki
Nimki is like that distant relative whom nobody really knows but who is always present at every family function. It’s neither flashy nor glamorous, yet it shows up every year. This deep-fried, crunchy, and simple snack isn’t usually the first thing you reach for, but you’ll definitely eat it when nothing else is left. Nimki is reliable in the same way your quiet cousin is—never demanding attention, yet always there when you need them most.
As you sit down to your first iftar of the month, take a moment to appreciate the diversity of personalities laid out before you. From the health-conscious cucumber to the dramatic Beguni, the sweet-yet-toxic Jilapi, and the overcompensating Lacchi, the iftar table is a microcosm of life itself—messy, chaotic, full of contradictions, but ultimately delicious. So, as you break your fast and dig into the feast, remember: iftar is more than just a meal—it’s a family reunion, a reality show, and a battle for dominance all rolled into one. And just like any family gathering, in the end, you realize that despite all the drama, chaos, and unpredictable personalities, there’s no place you’d rather be.